The BEST Quotes from The Office

If you are employed in an office environment, you’re probably all-too-familiar with all of the quotes your coworkers sling around as if they were normal conversational pieces of some original thought process.  Nope.  Most of the quotes you hear throughout your work day come from none other than the popular sitcom, The Office.

 

Is this your office?

we promise equal opportunity not equal outcome gabe lewis the office

Do you have the best boss in the world?  Probably not, unless your boss is Michael Scott!

should have burned this place down when i had the chance michael scott

Erin is so naive and we love her!

disposable cameras are fun, though it does seem wasteful. And you don't ever get to see your pictures erin hannon

So deep, isn’t he?

is there a god? if not what are all the churches for? and who is jesus' dad? michael scott the officeWe all know this feeling, don’t we?

i really wanna have fun today because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare erin hannon the office

If you don’t remember this episode… Watch it.  It was fantastic.

you never forget your first pen shipment. happy admin professionals day erin hannon the office

Poor, poor Kevin.

sometimes i feel like everyone i work with is an idiot. and by sometimes, i mean all times. all the time. every of the time kevin malone the officeHaven’t we all felt this way in the office?

sometimes i'll start a sentence and i don't even know where it's going. i just hope i find it along the way. michael scott the officeI, personally, do NOT want jury duty – how ’bout you?

i have been trying to get on jury duty every year since i was 18 years old. to get to sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for... that is the life stanley hudson the office

And Andy, so very, very needy, isn’t he?

sorry i annoyed you with my friendship andy bernard the officeFavorite episode ever… What did you think?

bears. beets. battlestar galactica. jim halpert the officeI can totally see where he’s coming from here… can’t you?

would i rather be feared or loved? easy. both i want people to be afraid of how much they love me. michael scott the office

I’m a little ‘stitious, too, Michael – are you?

i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious. michael scott the office

And now there’s more than YouTube – what about the Vine?  Facebook?  How about The Chive?  Aren’t we all just a bit distracted…?  For 5 hours at a time, right?  Ohh, that’s just me… whoops!

when i discovered youtube, i didn't work for five days. michael scott the office

Especially on a warm sunny day – Michael, you’ve never said anything more intelligent.  Ever.

only thing that could make this day better is ice-cream michael scott the office

Hardcore Parkour!  Of course!  Kills the office blues instantly!

parkour! hardcore parkour! the office michael schott dwight schrute

Ohh, I get it.  I get it.

i was just asking a question, toby. how are you not murdered every hour? andy bernard the office

Jim… WE love JIM.

i just want to do something huge for pam. like, if we were in some biker bar and she mouthed off to some bikers and they came lumbering over and i was like wham! gotta go through me first. jim halpert the officeWould you teach your cat French?  We would.

please don't teach the cat french. angela martin the office

Indeed.

i understand nothing michael scott the officeDo you have inside jokes with your coworkers?

i love inside jokes. love to be a part of one someday. michael scott the office

We do… especially around 5 p.m. on Fridays.

do you think that doing alcohol is cool michael scott the officeIs it?  Is it love?

when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff that makes you lose respect for them. and that is love. erin hannon the officeI really want cherry pie now.  Thanks, Stanley!

do you think that doing alcohol is cool michael scott the officeDo you keep a diary?

why do you have a diary to keep secrets from my computer dwight schrute the officeLet’s find ourselves a magnetic field!!!

i can live very happily in a magnetic field. most of my childhood superheroes got their powers that way dwight schrute the officeLOL – get it?

if people here were our founding fathers, the revolutionary war would've been delayed ten years. because stanley washington was napping, and phyllis hancock was still signing the declaration, and kevin jefferson was distracted by a butterfly dwight schrute the officeI love to moonwalk past accounting!

i have moonwalked past accounting like ten times andy bernard the officeThis is truth.

you can't fire me! I don't work in this van! dwight schrute the officeDo you think Dwight is right?  I vote for the raptor!

that's cool. hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? every other dinosaur that ever existed. dwight schrute the officeIt’s never… never too early for ice cream.

 

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wedding. i got six numbers. one more would have been a complete number. kevin malone the officeGreat response!

dwight's the only one with the spare key. i asked him "what if you die, dwight? how will we get in?" he said, "if i'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." dwight schrute pam beezly halpert the officeHey!  Danger is my middle name, too!

dwight, what is your middle name? danger. michael scott dwight schrute the office

What’s your dress code like at work?

last week, dwight sent out a memo about the dress code... so, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously. jim halpert the office

No… no… no…

i am fast. i'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. dwight schrute the office

Good way to stay positive, Andy!

how do i find out if a girl is interested? great question. i usually just assume that they're not... andy bernard the officeI don’t think that’s how it goes, Michael…

monkey see monkey do monkey pee all over you michael scott the officeOuch.

i know a few things about love... horrible, terrible, awful, awful things. andy bernard the office

 

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